Ferdous has respected my trust.
He refused to leave me at my father’s request.
On the contrary, he has escaped from everyone in the house and saved himself from a second marriage.
Ferdous was at home that day when my father and mother came to pick us up.
He himself sent them to pick us up.
My father got very angry because I refused to go.
And that day he ordered Ferdous to leave me and marry another girl.
But Ferdous has made it clear at home that it is not possible for him to live with anyone other than me.
He will do whatever it takes to get me back.
Not only that, he has also told everyone that he will not return to that house until I return home.
My father had an argument with my mother and went to Dhaka and then never returned home.
The school of the Pearads is on the side of the road on my way to school.
I learned these words from him.
I also learned that they were deeply humiliated because they did not return home with their in-laws.
So, as long as they are alive, they have clearly stated that they will never let a girl like me stay at home as a housewife.
I don’t know what fate has in store for me!
However, I believe from the bottom of my heart that if a husband in the world holds his wife’s hand tightly and stays by her side, then that woman has the ability to overcome all the adverse circumstances in the world.
I also believe that Ferdous will never let go of my hand and leave me alone.
Even if he doesn’t talk to me, where am I, how am I, what am I doing?
Ferdous always keeps me informed.
Sometimes through my parents, sometimes through Reshmi Apu.
I have felt that myself many times.
Days are passing and my eyes are getting restless to see Ferdous.
I haven’t seen those enchanting eyes, innocent face, and free-flowing smile for so long!
I haven’t heard that enchanting voice for so long!
What a great storm inside my heart!
It’s constantly messing up my ego. Yet, because of ego, I never get to say Ferdous, I love you very much.
I love you as much as no one in the world has ever loved anyone.
Without you, I am nothing, just a huge void!
You are my existence, you are my pride.
You have written everything in your mind, as big as the sky, to me, and made me forever indebted to you. Only death can repay that debt.
I am helpless without you today.
My world only wants you.
I die inside, but my ego doesn’t forget to say
Come back one more time.
The path I have been looking for is just waiting for you.
Many days have passed by. Leaving Ferdous, I realize how important a husband is in a woman’s life! You can survive without your beloved, but you can never live well.
Meanwhile, another danger has arisen!
The fact that I have been in my father’s house for so long has raised a lot of suspicion in my brother’s mind.
He thinks that there must be some big problem.
That is why I have been staying in this house for so long.
Why would he doubt it?
Married girls never go to their father’s house for months after leaving their husbands and families.
I never answer my brother’s phone because I am afraid of what to say.
My mother could not keep the matter quiet for much longer in the face of my brother’s interrogation.
Finally, she told me about Ferdous.
My brother was very angry when he heard it.
Oh, it’s not just Ferdous’s fault, he’s also angry at me.
What kind of educated girl do you think I am?
That I didn’t inquire about my son’s education before getting into a relationship?
I don’t understand one thing!
Are all the faults of the world solely the responsibility of women?
My brother, my family, if they wanted to, could have found out about their son’s education before marriage?
Everyone’s only concern is how soon they can finish their responsibilities by getting married when the girl grows up!
They too have been a little careless from their place?
The same thing has come to my brother, it’s good that he doesn’t even mention that house.
We can’t knowingly send him to a half-educated man’s house a second time.
People will be furious if they find out.
Instead, tell him to forget Ferdous. We will marry him off again if necessary if we see a good boy.
I didn’t like such senseless talk of my brother at all.
He only thought about his sister and his own status.
He never thought about the three innocent children like flowers!
Can you forget if you want to?
Is it so easy to forget?
Will the memories of Ferdous help me forget him?
When I look at my sons’ faces,
Will his image never appear on their faces?
And Ferdous has never loved me less!
Is academic education the only criterion for love? There are so many highly educated people in our society who do not know how to show even the slightest respect for their wives. There, Ferdous has made me the crown of my head. How can I forget that husband?
Besides, Ferdous is my husband.
No matter what happens between us,
I will never tolerate anyone outside speaking harsh words about him or looking down on him.
Be it my own brother or anyone else.
And that’s why I want Ferdous to study and write even more strongly.
In my opinion, Ferdous has no shortcomings except in terms of studies, as far as I have seen. If a person wants, he can do everything.
But why can’t he educate himself and develop himself?
I had a lot of arguments with my brother about this. At one point, I was forced to leave my father’s house.
I started renting a house next to the school with my boys.
My mother has arranged for a middle-aged woman from the village to take care of my boys. Today, we are all suffering because of a wrong decision in Ferdous’s life!
Not all people in the world are born with equal talent.
Some can master a subject in one go, while others cannot even study ten times.
The difference is that the one who can do it once needs less time and effort, while the one who cannot do it even ten times has to work harder.
However, if you persist, success will come eventually.
And the more hard work you put in, the greater the joy of success.
If Ferdous had understood this in time, then so many lives would not have had to suffer so much today.
I can’t even look at the faces of the boys these days.
Even though I have a father, I am depriving my sons of their father’s love and affection!
Sometimes I feel like there is no other mother in the world as bad as me!
I am not really worthy of being a mother in any way!
The name mother is a disgrace!
