We feel a pull even for people far away. We feel a kind of closeness to the one whom we have never seen, the one we will never see. i feel love Get carried away with emotion. Weep for him. I was in college then. I started writing letters to newspapers. I make penfriends. I have many pen pals. There are boy friends as well as girl friends. Among them was a friend named Mita. Mita of Shivbati in Bogra. Mita used to write letters with beautiful words. Just a one page letter. At that time, beautiful floral letter pads were available. Mita used only one page of that pad. Perfumed letters would arrive, sometimes with dried rose petals. In the blink of an eye, the letter is over! Mita could not write a little bigger! Someone writes so many letters! We developed a beautiful relationship through the exchange of letters. Once sent a picture. Just a picture of the face. That was in 1981/82. Perhaps the picture was in color. I often watched the picture secretly. One day Mita suddenly wrote like Brajpat without a cloud, I am going to America. You do not write to me! I don’t think I would have suffered as much in someone’s death as I did in Mita’s separation.
I never wanted to meet Patramitas. I didn’t get involved. I am a little shy. I’m not as easy-going in reality as I used to be in letters or as easy-going as I am with social media invisibility these days. Moreover, what will we talk about when we meet! I don’t have much to say. Maybe the person will be disappointed to see me face to face. Not as thought. I can’t accept that pain. In this city of Toronto, I see a lot of Facebook friends but don’t talk to them. I am very embarrassed if someone recognizes me. Dharani dilemma is my type of situation. So it is better to stay away from distant people. The emotion and attraction that is created from a distance does not exist when you are close. Humans have many limitations. When approached, they are revealed. Mistakes are caught. The picture we paint of ourselves from a distance may not seem so up close. So don’t get too close. Don’t love too much. Love means suffering. To approach is to move away, to gain is to lose. The word love is confusing. Who knows where love is! People who love so much but also hate the people they love. For whom Divinishi used to be jealous, he was once thrown away, used and thrown away like a waste.
People don’t have that feeling anymore. Emotional stability is reduced. As my heart ached for Mita, I still remember Mita, that kind of thing doesn’t happen these days. Now people have many options. One may run to another when one moves away or moves away. And that also goes away sometime. This is how people are running after Morichika. Pepper called love. Chasing the green leafy water called friendship. Suddenly someone appeared from among them. Turns all olots. Calculations are messed up. As there are many traps, as there are apprehensions, so are true love or friendship. People do not cooperate or stand by as much as they can sympathize with one’s danger, distress. Is empathy really beneficial to people? When we sympathize with a loved one on someone’s death, does it ease his grief! When someone is in danger or in debt, will just words of sympathy or consolation make him free from danger or debt? will not Then he needs real help. But not everyone has the ability to cooperate. Will that relationship survive? This world of interests is very mysterious.
Toronto December 14, 2023
