Everyone knows that I have a weakness for women. A special weakness. I have written about this many times. On Facebook, I have more female friends than male friends. Women send me more friend requests. I accept more women. Even now, I have nearly a thousand pending friend requests from women. My friends range from 18 to 80 years old.
Women are my greatest inspiration for writing, my biggest readers. Women comment more on my writing. Women are the biggest buyers of my books. They are the ones who come for autographs the most. Perhaps this is because I write more about women, I study the female psyche more deeply.
That’s why women show me love and support. The equation is quite simple. Love is an easy thing. It doesn’t cost money, it doesn’t require effort. Just be empathetic towards women, listen to them attentively, respect them. Develop the realization that women are human beings. In fact, I dislike the division between men and women. I don’t befriend or judge women based on their looks, fancy clothes, or socioeconomic status. I evaluate them based on their hearts, their inner beauty, and their generosity. And in return, they see me in the same way and give me love.
I love my mother, I love my wife, I love my daughter. I love all my female relatives and friends. I stand by them in times of trouble. I help them. I never expect anything in return.
When my daughter Oritri was little, I told her, “You and Orko are equal to me. Everything is fifty-fifty.”
One day, Orko came to me, almost in tears. He was about seven or eight years old at the time. He said, “Dad, you said everything would be fifty-fifty, but now I see it’s actually seventy-thirty. You favor Oritri more.” That day, I laughed a lot.
Yesterday, I asked Oritri, “Do you remember your childhood? I told you everything would be divided fifty-fifty!”
Oritri laughed and said, “Yes.”
I said, “But your priority comes first for me.”
My mother passed away many years ago. I still cry for her. She often comes to me in my dreams. Her photo is on my writing desk. When I wake up, I see my mother. I pray for my parents every day. I talk to Oritri at least once daily. When I was in Toronto, I visited her at least once a week. When I announced that I would build a library in Barisal, the first person to donate five lakh taka, unconditionally, was a female friend of mine.
Women have always stood by me in difficult times. When I was in university and struggling financially, to the point where my studies were almost at risk, Bani Apa and Jasmine supported me.
So, love women. Respect women. Respect and love go hand in hand. Every relationship is reciprocal. Give and take. I have never disrespected a woman. I have never hurt them. I have endured losses myself, but I have never belittled them.
I remember once traveling from Dhaka to Barisal on the Samad launch. It was a cold night. I had a high fever. But I had no money in my pocket, no warm clothes. I was shivering with fever. At that time, I was a university student, traveling to see my sick mother. That night, a poor Hindu woman fed me and gave me a blanket.
In 2010, after my mother passed away, I was traveling back to my country. I was deeply upset. From Toronto to London, then from London to Dubai, and finally to Dhaka—by coincidence, all three times, my travel companions were women. One was Scottish, one was from Ahmedabad, India, and one was a girl from Nawabganj, Dhaka. I was silently crying, refusing to eat. They showed me immense kindness and compassion.
Strangely enough, whenever I travel—whether to Dhaka or Tokyo—my co-passengers always seem to be women. Even after arriving in Dhaka, it is mostly women who check on me the most.
There are many such incidents in my life where women have been my strength. Much of my life is centered around women. Regardless of religion or caste, women have shown me kindness and affection.
My family doctor is a woman. My dentist is a woman. Whenever a woman is oppressed, I protest. I raise my voice for justice. I rejoice in women’s success. I tell these stories. I believe in women’s empowerment.
Toronto, Canada
