It is never possible to be a hundred percent the way someone wants. We always expect a hundred percent from others, but we ourselves can never give a hundred percent. We all have limitations, flaws. No one in this world is perfect. So, it is not right to expect perfection from anyone.
But our minds do not accept this. The subconscious mind expects a hundred percent from friends, from a spouse, from children, from parents. And when we don’t receive it, we feel like they are not in our hearts. We distance ourselves from them, or maintain a loose relationship. This happens to me as well. Even though I do not have very high expectations from anyone, unconsciously, I still have some. I have expectations from my wife, from my child, from my friends, from my siblings.
A life without expectations does not exist. People live with hopes and dreams. Even though the gap between expectations and reality is as vast as crossing an ocean, it is still hope and dreams that keep people alive. I, too, have dreams; I, too, have expectations. I also want my small dreams to come true. I want someone to do something for me, to respond to my call. At the same time, I also hope that someone will come to me with the claim of friendship, will call me close, will stay beside me. I just do not want selfish people. I do not want people who only want to receive but do not want to give. I do not want indifferent people. My desires stem from a sense of entitlement, from a claim—the claim of love, the claim of friendship, the claim of kinship.
I am not a very worthy person, but what I have received in life is more than I deserve. Sometimes, it feels like nothing new is happening in life anymore. Life feels monotonous at times. Perhaps, it is because the space for sincerity in relationships has become too mechanical. People have become self-centered. They want to live alone. Relationships have become artificial.
Especially, family relationships are now bound by the thread of self-interest. As long as you can give, you are good. The moment you cannot, everything disappears. Some friendships are as precarious as walking on a tightrope in a circus—always looking for an opportunity to take advantage. They seem good for a moment, and in the next moment, that feeling is gone.
However, in the end, it is my friends who keep me going. They are my inspiration, the place where my claims are recognized. Not everyone becomes a friend—only a few do. Now I have learned who a true friend is, what it means to be one. Recognize your true friends.
Toronto, Canada
