Neela tried very hard to accept and adapt. After a lot of fighting with her mind, she started studying Zoology at the university. Even in the morning, her father drives her to the station to catch the university train, and in the evening, as soon as she gets off the train, Neela sees her father standing on the platform. Neela feels suffocated, her friends don’t stop making fun of her. What happens at that age! She feels quite egotistical. When she returns home in the evening, she cries and tells her father, ‘What if you don’t come to pick me up every day? No one comes to pick up any of my friends from home. I’m over eighteen, now just leave me alone like I am! I’ll come home with my friends.’ Although her father was very annoyed and agreed, he started picking me up again two days later. This time Neela feels very proud. Father said, ‘If I go to fetch her, you can reach home before eight, and if you take a rickshaw-taxi, it will be nine o’clock by the time you reach. When will you eat, rest, and sit down to study?’
Neela took a deep breath and thought, unable to bear it anymore. This time, if she could somehow get a scholarship, she would not stay here anymore, she would go abroad without saying goodbye. She wanted to be free from this pain of too much care, too much love. As soon as she returned home, mother said, take a shower and come to eat, then father said, it is night, go to sleep. Oops! How much longer! She is no longer a school child, but a university student! And she is not happy. However, days passed, Neela kept checking the post office every day. Finally, one day, that dream day came. Neela’s letter arrived. From a very good university in Canada. She had received a scholarship to study journalism. They would pay all her education expenses, tuition would be completely free, but she would have to cover the cost of living. She thought for a long time, should she tell her father, or should she keep quiet? Up until now, she had told her father all the happy news of her life first. But this news of her utmost happiness might not be happy for her father! Father could turn everything upside down. She spent the night thinking about it. The next day she woke up and was quite late. Father was walking to her door with a worried face.
Father: You missed the morning train, will I take you to the university?
Neela: Father, I don’t want to go anymore. I will definitely go abroad to study this time, no matter what you say.
Father: Have you made the final decision alone?
Neela: Yes, father, this has been my lifelong wish. I have never said anything against you in my entire life to please you, whenever you said, I immediately accepted everything. But, this time I can’t do it anymore. I don’t like those snake-bangs anymore. And besides, memorizing all those books, paying money to the lab uncle to draw pictures in the practical book, getting advance questions in the batch when studying privately, these are the common practices of our universities, you have taught me so many principles all my life, these will not happen to me. And if I can’t do these or don’t do them, I can’t fit in with the rest. Father, I am a person of your ideals, I can’t do these. And if I can’t, I won’t get the same results as the rest. I want to see how students in developed countries study, what the style and study habits of those universities are like. I will definitely return to my country one day. Please let me go.
Dad listened seriously, without saying anything, he went to his room and lay down with his hand on his forehead. He didn’t say anything. Seeing Dad’s expression, everyone in the house became quite tense. Dad no longer made any noise or fuss, Dad became completely speechless. Everyone was quite worried. Screaming, shouting, everything seemed better, but the current atmosphere in this stuffy house seemed unbearable to anyone. A very thick black cloud covered the sky of the house, a hint of a silent cyclone. Neela got up from the bed, washed her face and hands and went to the kitchen to eat. On other days, by this time, her mother would have asked what she wanted to eat, and she would have prepared the food herself or through the helper. But today, Neela went to the kitchen, stood there for quite a while, but her mother didn’t seem to see her. She stood there for a while and said to the helper (Rushi), “Would you like some tea? And a paratha?” Rushi said enthusiastically, ‘Apu, can I fry an egg with you?’
Neela: Whatever you say, do it, you don’t have to be so scholarly.
Mom: Why do you need to give her so much trouble? And besides, Rushi won’t go to Canada with you. From today on, you will do all your own work yourself. Don’t call Rushi by name anymore. Make your own breakfast. If you are happy, you will be in a haunted castle. What did you lack in this country?
Neela must have been very happy to hear this for the first time in her life. She couldn’t believe her own ears. Does that mean her father approved of her going abroad? Everyone, including her mother, must have known and accepted it! Wow! She doesn’t want anything else in her life. This time, she started flying with joy. She started weaving dreams.
She used to not sleep all night because of sadness, and now she can’t sleep because of happiness. She started dreaming about going abroad in a daze. As soon as she finished watching her father’s news, she grabbed the TV remote and sat down before the other siblings. She kept watching Hollywood movies and watching the hustle and bustle of foreign life. She herself did not realize when she would dream and imagine herself in the place of the heroine while watching the movie. However, she realized it today when she played with her elder brother’s ears.
Brother had been fidgeting for quite some time to watch the talk show, but as soon as she finished watching father’s news, how could Neela snatch the remote away! Now even if she tried to pull it away from her, mom and dad would come running, and Neela has become such a sneaky person these days that she starts crying before anything happens, immediately everyone in the house rushes in as if a robber has broken into the house. For a while, Bhaiya stood by the TV, trying to figure out how to get the remote control. When he finally realized that Neela wasn’t actually watching TV, but was still sleeping with the remote control in her hand, staring at the ceiling with her eyes wide open, he couldn’t control his anger any longer and slowly came to Neela’s side. Strange! Even then, Neela didn’t move, she didn’t notice anything! Not even a single hair moved! Bhaiya noticed again that although a movie was playing on TV, no one was watching it. Neela looked at the ceiling with the remote control in her hand, lost in thought, as if she was watching something. Bhaiya rubbed her ears with one hand and snatched the remote control from Neela’s hand with the other.
Neela: I was in the middle of the movie. Someone takes it away at such a time? Don’t let me finish!
Brother: There is no news about studies, there is no need to go to university, he will become a Vidyasagar just by watching English movies! Whatever! Go home and study!
Neela knows that there is no point in arguing anymore, she has never won an argument with anyone, younger or older, brother or sister. So, without trying in vain, she walked towards her house in a bored mood.
After a while, her most trusted person in the house, Rusi, came and put her finger on her lips, widened her eyes and gestured for her to be completely quiet. Then she closed the door with a broom in her hand on the pretext of cleaning the back of the door. After closing the door, she ran over and said, ‘Apa, what a joy it would be for me! I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, I would have eaten food at my mother and aunt’s house and had Aman’s beer! We’ll get married soon!’
Neela has a house in her head! What is she listening to? Will she never taste freedom again in her life! Straight from her father’s house to her husband’s house! From the tiger’s cage to the lion’s cage! She wants a little taste of freedom, wants to enjoy life without restrictions, restrictions, or guards!
Scarborough, Canada
