Tell me honestly, don’t you remember me? Such questions come to my mind every day. Every night, looking out the window, I go back to the past.
I am Nijhum. I am studying in a private university. The eldest daughter of the family. I was born in the Middle East. After birth, my father left me in the country to embrace security and the local education culture. Although I studied in the English version, being a member of a conservative family, I had no male friends. I used to talk to Antu next door, but that was not without necessity. At this age, I really remained backdated.
Barely touching the university boundary, one day my father returned to the country and said that I had to get married. I really wanted to study abroad. But I didn’t have the courage to tell my father. My mother never spoke against my father’s words. Moreover, we don’t have any brothers. My father’s thoughts always play in my mind.
After thinking a lot, I agreed to my father’s words. One afternoon, he took me to a restaurant to show me off as a bride. I was very shy. Even though my mother allowed me to speak separately, I hesitated. Still, to maintain the dignity of my speech, I sat down with the man at the next table. I still didn’t see him.
Sit down. As soon as the word rang in my ears, I took a seat in the chair in front of me.
– You have completed A level, right?
– Yes.
– Do you want to study further?
– I want to complete “Law” in a European country.
– Okay. You haven’t looked at me once since you came. Do you have a preference for anyone?
– Sorry
– Actually, I like clear words. That’s why I wanted to know
I looked at the man sitting in front of me. He was looking at me. When I looked at him, I lowered my eyes and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t really have a preference. My parents’ preference is my preference.”
When my mother called me from behind, I asked the man in front for permission to leave.
We both joined everyone. After returning home, I kept thinking about the man. The moment of staring at me for a moment kept coming back to me. When my mother asked me at the dinner table at night, I told her that I agreed to whatever decision they would make.
Who was Kittu spending her holidays with? In my free time, I would spend time with trees and historical books.
A week later, my mother told me that they would exchange rings on Friday. They liked me. That day, when I remembered the moment of staring at me, I felt a strange feeling of love.
The man’s name was Tahsin. He is an expatriate from Australia. He works as an engineer in a multinational company there. He is the first child of my parents.
Three days later, the day of my ring exchange arrived. Tahsin said that he would have to join work again very soon, so they wanted to complete the wedding with the ring exchange.
Seeing Tahsin’s job and their family status, my father did not delay any longer. That day, he completed the ceremony in a small and simple manner. When the marriage was completed, my room was decorated with light rose petals. Tithi and Aditi did everything together.
I was very unprepared with fear and shame. I had liked a man for the first time in my life and that man was my life partner. We had some private conversations. Hmm, words were exchanged. Maybe mine was words and his was words.
After dinner, they went to their house. An unfamiliar habit of staying up all night talking turned into a daily habit. The feelings that had been built up for a man for so many years, today, only Tahsin was left in the feelings.
Two months later, in a grand ceremony, my father exchanged hands and gave my hand to him.
On the one hand, the pain of leaving mother and Nitra was mixed with the feeling of approaching a special person.
The dream was to step into a new life where this bird has the freedom to spread its wings. Where a beautiful bond of love awaits. Was it really waiting for happiness or life after death?
