Anwara, who today suffers from paraphrenia, was once a role model for her contemporaries. In 1971, with the war raging all around, Sasshini Anwara, walking from Chittagong city with five of her six children, left for Jessore, a distant village home, along the railway line. Some are just babies. After many ups and downs, she reached the month-long walk, without her husband and eldest son. The younger daughter of a zamindar’s house, Anwara could adapt to life where, as it were, she could easily, quite efficiently. The eldest son has skillfully made a doctor, one daughter a well-known chemist, and the rest have shown their skills throughout their lives without ever crossing the boundaries of school. Paru remembers well (hearing various stories from Nana-Nanu’s mouth), how Nanu used to read newspapers attentively during the various election campaigns of the 80s and 90s, and he used to go against everyone in the house and say, ‘You blame Ershad, look. How much work he is doing!’ And because of saying this, Nana and Paru together called Ershad’s lover! Those days were golden days in Paru’s memory today.
Paru felt quite lucky because after school, she could walk with her friends to her grandmother’s house every day. She was studying at St. Xavier’s School. Although the school was quite far from their home, it was very close to her grandmother’s place. Every morning, when her father dropped her off at school, Paru would say, “Don’t come to pick me up in the afternoon! I’ll go to Nani’s place.” Even if her father came to pick her up, Paru would cry and make a big fuss. She didn’t want to go home at all. Their house didn’t have a garden like Nani’s, nor was there a playground in front, no friends, no Tajju, no grandparents, uncles or aunts. That’s why she had to go to Nani’s place every day after school. For Paru, her grandmother, Anwar, was the ideal woman.
One day, Paru’s father was stuck in traffic and got home a little late. Meanwhile, Paru’s friends from school were already on their way home. Knowing that their houses were near her grandfather’s, Paru joined them without a second thought.
Paru’s father, on the other hand, was frantic when he reached school and couldn’t find her. Little Paru, however, was oblivious to her father’s worry. She was happily walking with her friends but kept looking around nervously. She had heard stories about kidnappers who would put children in sacks and sell their kidneys. Moreover, there were many red cows on that road, which terrified her. The previous year, her father had bought a red cow for the sacrifice festival. Unlike the friendly white goat they had, the red cow had almost bitten her hand when she tried to feed it. Ever since then, Paru had been terrified of red cows.
As soon as Paru reached her grandparents’ house, everyone was surprised! Because at that time, Paru’s father usually accompanied her, and he was nowhere to be seen. Since it wasn’t the age of mobile phones, her grandfather couldn’t call her father. The elder uncle mischievously asked, ‘Did you walk all by yourself? Weren’t you scared? There are so many kidnappers and red bulls on the road?’ Paru replied, ‘No, I didn’t walk on the side of the road where the red bulls were. I walked on the other side.’
On one hand, Paru’s father was worried about her absence from school, and on the other, her grandparents and uncle were worried too. As soon as Paru entered her grandparents’ house, she told everyone, ‘If my father comes to pick me up, please tell him that I didn’t come. Otherwise, he will force me to go home.’ Meanwhile, her father was inquiring with the teachers at school and had started searching for her. Paru was the apple of her father’s eye. Where could she have gone alone? Had something happened to her? Had she really set off for home alone? Thinking about this, her father first went home. When he reached home and found that Paru wasn’t there, he left for his in-laws’ place without telling his wife. Seeing her husband’s gloomy face, his wife immediately guessed that Paru must have disobeyed him and stayed at her grandparents’ place, so he was angry.
Dad arrived at Grandma’s place sooner than expected. Meanwhile, Paru was under Nana’s bed, repeatedly instructing everyone, ‘Remember, if Dad comes, tell him Paru hasn’t arrived yet! Otherwise, he’ll forcibly take me home. I need to pluck two guavas from Nana’s tree this afternoon; they’re ripe; I checked yesterday.
Abbu saw Paru’s shoes at the door and entered screaming.
Father: You can! Come out now, come on.
Paru: (from under the bed) I have not come to Nanubasa! Ask Nana!
Father: You didn’t come? Who is talking to me?
Paru: You ask Nana! I didn’t come
Nana: Paru has not come at all, (said to father laughing).
Father: One of your tutors will come to your house from tonight, you have to go, exams are coming up.
Paru: There are three teachers in my house. Nana, great uncle, and aunt. Only one at home! i won’t go
Father: there is a wedding invitation at night, the new dress will not be worn?
This time, Paru became a little worried. After thinking for a while, she said, ‘If you come to pick me up after Maghrib prayer, I can go. By then, all my friends will have gone home after playing, and Nana and Nani will be sitting with their prayers and newspapers, which will be a boring time. And by then, all the guavas, mangoes, and plums will be picked. But before that, I have to play with my friends, pick guavas from Dalimnanu’s garden, and eat the two ripe guavas in my Nana’s garden. I won’t go until these things are finished.’ Dad sighed and started to leave. As he was leaving, he said, ‘Be ready exactly at seven in the evening. Don’t make any excuses then! And finish your homework before that.’
Nana called from behind to have dinner, but Dad didn’t stop even for a moment in anger. Upon returning home, he told Mom everything while eating dinner.
Paru had always admired her grandmother, Anwarara, right from the tender age of seven. Even as Paru grew up to become a mother herself, her admiration for her grandmother remained undiminished. Today, when people express their astonishment at Paru’s many talents, saying, “How do you do so much?”, she’s instantly reminded of her grandmother. Her grandmother could do so much more! From making pickles and preserves to beauty treatments, preparing traditional sweets, creating intricate embroidery, and cooking a variety of modern dishes, the list was endless.
Then, tragedy struck as Paru’s grandmother fell ill. She gradually became more withdrawn and eventually developed paraphrenia, a mental disorder characterized by delusions. People no longer believed her stories or wanted to listen to her ramblings, which caused Paru immense pain.
After completing her studies, Paru started visiting her childhood friend Anwarara regularly, listening attentively to her stories, and trying to make her feel valued. She felt compelled to advocate for her grandmother, who was often dismissed by others. It was heartbreaking to see Anwarara so isolated, knowing that she was sincere in her beliefs but unable to convince others of their validity. This is a common symptom of paraphrenia: the sufferer develops false memories that they firmly believe to be true, experiencing hallucinations and delusions that have no basis in reality.
It is crucial for people suffering from paraphrenia to seek professional help from a psychiatrist and undergo behavioral therapy.
Scarborough, Canada
