Raisa is trying to cool down her mood by chatting with Dhruvar. She is sitting with a glass of cold coffee. Dhruvar asked, are you in a bad mood today for some reason? Did something happen at the office?
Nothing much.
Can you share it with me.
Okay, Dhruvar. What are your thoughts on a life partner?
What exactly do you want to know?
What kind of life partner do you need? Then how do you want to spend your future life?
Dhruvar smiled and said, actually, I haven’t thought about it like that. But everyone has more or less fascination with life after marriage. I think that whoever will be my life partner, he should be very caring towards me. He should understand me. And he should be very pretty. So that I can spend my life looking at him.
Raisa smiled and said, am I that level of pretty to you?
– Of course. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have proposed to you.
– But Dhruv. Girls don’t stay pretty all their lives. Now you might be able to spend hours looking at my face. But when I have to balance my family life and work life, and then when I have children, I might not have enough time to take care of myself. Then I won’t look so pretty. There will be dark circles on my face, various kinds of stress, and I might not have time to comb my hair while taking care of the children. Then you won’t like me.
Dhruv shook his head. Then he said, these are phases of life. I think every phase of life is beautiful. Then you will look beautiful in proportion to that age.
– And if you don’t?
– Listen, Raisa, you will remain beautiful in my eyes for the rest of your life. I never find growing old ugly. The beauty of growing old is different. Don’t think about these things. And besides, even if the baby is a newborn, I will keep a separate person to look after him. There will be a separate person for household chores. You will never have any extra pressure. You can live your life the way you want.
Raisa is looking at Dhruva’s face. Dhruva looks beautiful. But Raisa is not feeling relieved after hearing his words. So she just looks at him with a surprised look.
Dhruva said, aren’t you going to eat anything else? Have you had dinner?
No,
Then why are we sitting without having dinner?
I don’t feel like eating anything today.
Even if you don’t feel like eating, eat in small quantities. You shouldn’t sleep without eating at night.
Today I went to my mother’s place. My mother cooked Tehari. I left without eating. Now I feel very guilty.
Dhruv said with a smile, “For Tehari?”
– No, I left angry with my mother. But now I’m traveling. I’m old, my mother. I can’t do much for my mother anyway. I visit her after a long time. Even then, if you misbehave like this, my mother gets hurt. I’m feeling very guilty about all this.
– The biggest thing is to work on the guilt. You’ll see that you won’t make such a mistake again. When you return home at night, call your mother and apologize nicely. Now don’t be so upset and eat food.
After a while, Dhruv said, “What are your thoughts about marriage or family, Raisa?”
Raisa was surprised. It’s been a long time since someone asked her such a question. To be honest, she has crossed that chapter of her thoughts. Although the beginning was beautiful, the end was not beautiful. Raisa still doesn’t know what he thinks about his future life?
After thinking for a long time, he said, “I don’t know much. I haven’t thought about these things.
– How do you feel about me? Don’t you think I can keep you happy?”
– You haven’t earned my trust yet.
– What? When I came running to you. You said I would stand here all night. I am so dedicated to you. Still, you say I couldn’t earn your trust?
Raisa sighed and said, “Is life worth living with all this madness? The story of family life is completely different. It can never be imagined before marriage. I have seen that life. You come running again and again because you like spending time with me. You don’t come to make me feel good.”
– Did you say that, Raisa? I only think about my own interests?
– Yes.
– I have never even held your hand until now. I speak to you politely enough. I have never used any dirty language with you like the boys of today. Still, where do you find my interests?
Raisa hesitated a little and said, to gain trust, you have to do something to give trust. Everything you are doing is very natural to me. But I don’t need such love in my life now. I need a hand of trust along with love. A person whom I can trust with my eyes closed. Even if I am ever devastated by despair, who will hold my hand and pull me up. If I am ever broken and shattered, who will give me the courage to build a new life. Even if I ever give up everything and become a lonely person, who will hold me tightly to his chest. Can you be that place of trust for me? What if I ever give up everything and become the old Raisa. Who will only cook for the family and give birth to children and take care of the children. What if I am no longer so stylish? Will your same feelings work for me then?
Dhrub remained silent. He remained silent for about half a minute. Then he said, I didn’t love the previous Raisa. The Raisa I loved was confident, she was very strong, she was brilliant. She thought she was enough for herself. I loved this confident Raisa. Then why would you go back to your previous state?
– You seem scared? People’s confidence is not always the same. Ups and downs are a part of life. Just because I feel good about working today doesn’t mean I will enjoy it for the rest of my life. After two months, if I want to, I won’t work anymore, I will just focus on making a family. I will take two boys and a girl. I will drop them off at school every day, come home and set the table, cook breakfast in the afternoon, and prepare a two-course dinner at night. After cooking, I will wait for my husband in a hurry and will be busy putting the children to sleep for half the night. Can you imagine that Raisa? How does it feel to hear?
Dhruva smiled and said, unbelievable. It sounds incredible to me. Do you ever want to become a family man like that? Can’t you maintain your own job life and personal life and have a family?
– Yes. But since you need a pretty wife. If I can’t always be that pretty, stylish, serious career wife. That’s why I’m a little scared.
– Don’t be scared. I will appreciate you in all your situations.
– I don’t trust your words.
– And how can I trust you? I’m doing enough from my place. This is probably why people don’t want to marry divorced people.
Raisa looked at Dhruva with wide eyes. She forgot to blink. She never imagined that Dhruva would stab her in her weak spot like this.
Raisa stood up immediately. Dhruv asked, what happened? Are you angry about this? You have repeatedly said that you cannot trust me. I am so desperate for you and yet you cannot trust me. Don’t I feel insulted by hearing this? I feel insulted myself too. Where did I not get angry?
Raisa said, this is why people don’t want to marry divorced people. This is the first time. If I get into any relationship or marriage with you, I will have to hear this a million times for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hear this from your mouth a second time. Excuse me.
Raisa tried to leave the restaurant. Dhruva came behind her and started saying sorry again and again. Finally, he came in front of Raisa and stood in her way. He pleaded a lot, I am so sorry. I will never do this again. I didn’t really want to say that. But you have so many doubts about me. That’s why I got a little annoyed. You keep telling me about your experience.
– I won’t tell you anymore. Let me go.
– Raisa, don’t end everything like this.
– I mean, I’m ending it. Where did I start with you? We never had any relationship that I would end.
– There was no relationship?
– No, there wasn’t. And if you think there was any relationship between us, then that’s your wrong idea. I don’t like it. Let me go.
Raisa quickly walked past Dhruva and left the place. She took a rickshaw and set off for home. Her heated mood was now even more fierce. She couldn’t understand who she was angry at. At Dhruvar or at the entire male race? Or at this society? She couldn’t find an answer to this.
Entering the house, she looked at the sitting area. She didn’t sit in this area much. Even though she did decoration as a hobby, she never sat there. But that day, Adnan came and sat in that area. Now she felt it would be nice to sit in this area. Raisa came and sat there leaning back. As she remembered Adnan, she suddenly felt that Adnan was the only person in her life who had never spoken disrespectfully to her. Instead, he always took care of her good and bad. He stood by her side in every trouble. He always gave her immense support. That means the entire male race is not the same. There are good people like Adnan in the world.
Raisa had blocked Dhruvar’s number. She also blocked him on Facebook. After that, there was no contact with Dhruva. One day, she saw Dhruva sitting in the office. She tried to talk to Raisa. Raisa did not create any scene in the office. When she came out of the office, she politely told Dhruva, you are a very good person. Whoever gets you is very lucky. But to be honest, you are not the right person for me. So I think it is better that we do not have any contact anymore.
– I told you sorry. I will never utter that word in front of you again.
– I am sorry. I always want you to be very good. Please let me be like me.
Raisa came to the office. But her mind did not settle down at work. She spent a few days in a very restless state. Before the trouble with Dhruva, Dhruva used to send her messages all the time, trying to be very careful. Raisa started feeling very lonely after the sudden loss of contact. Which did not happen before Dhruva came into her life. When she became friends with Adnan, there was not much communication. Adnan would always text her every so often. Or meet her in person. In the meantime, she had learned to live alone well for a year. But lately, loneliness has been bothering her a lot. Is this happening to her because she deleted both Adnan and Dhrub from her life at the same time? Raisa doesn’t know. She only knows that she will get over this time quickly.
After finishing work, she left for home and suddenly felt like going to her mother’s house today. She decided to stay there for the night.
Rehnuma Begum was quite happy to see her. Raisa had left an old dress of hers at the house. She later came to her old bed and slept with it. Suddenly, she heard her mother talking to someone on the phone. As far as she could tell from the conversation, it was Adnan. They were talking about a girl. Her mother was politely asking her repeatedly if the girl was polite, if she respected everyone properly, etc. After her mother hung up, Raisa came and asked, who did you talk to?
– With your aunt.
– Oh, okay. Are you looking for a girl for someone?
– Yes, for your Mehedi brother.
– Oh, okay.
Raisa came back to the room and lay down. She thought she was talking to Adnan about meeting a girl. She suddenly realized that a little while ago when her mother was talking about her daughter, Raisa seemed to be a little angry inside. Now after listening to Mehedi brother, she felt relieved. She couldn’t understand why she was so jealous about Adnan’s marriage. It’s normal for a mature man to get married. But such jealousy is very unusual.
After a while, Raisa came up and asked Rehnuma, what’s up with your son Adnan, mother? Have you found a bride for his marriage?
